How to join the Taliban
By Gerald: Internet Anthropologist Think Tank
From one of our sources:
So you want to join the TalibanYou will need to make contact over the Internet, post your request in one of the forums.
or maybe you have some personal connections.
There will be a lot of hurry up and wait
weeks and months, while you are checked
out,
You must be in very good shape as you will
be walking 4 to 6 weeks.
And in various climates, from sub-zero temps
to over 110 degrees. As you are smuggled
walking thru many countries,over well know routes.
Thru high low O2 mountain passes with ass deep snow,
frost bite is common and not treated, medical services
are non existent.
And you will cross deserts with just enough water to keep you
alive.
You will learn the smell of your body, no toilet paper,
thats what Allah gave your your left hand for.
And the food will be just enough to keep you alive,
expect huge weight losses.
Your kit is subject to inspection time and time again,
And your possessions will be seized by handlers
for "Donations" to the poor. Often the handlers.
They profit from fleecing recruits.
This includes your money and passport,
they can make good money reselling your
passport on the black market.
These funds do not go the the 'cause'
but to the pockets of the criminal handlers
along your route.
Who are also drug smugglers and herion addicts.
But hash, mary jane, black herion all are very cheap.
The terrorist LIKE drug users.
You will be cleaned out, hiking boots and
thermal underwear, watches jewelry, sleeping bags,
and warm clothing.
And expected to buy your own weapon,
Which will be taken form you if you don't
meet muster.
Don't expect warm hugs for your sacrifices,
they don't konw you and don't trust you.
And if they kill you they MAY get a verbal
tongue lashing. And your body will just disappear.
They will isolate you, and treat you as the unknown
you are. You are suspected spies or informant, and treated in
a hostile manner.
If you are expecting a hero's welcome, you will
be shocked.
Are your a Sunni or Shia?
If the wrong group gets you it could be very bad.
You may receive minimal training and asked
if you want to be a fighter or suicide bomber.
They may use you unknowingly for either.
Squalid housing, foul meals, fleas and sickness,
diarrhea are the norm. Malaria is common, and 'they' may
If you are not tough enough, read no complaints
and willing to suffer 24/7 and go with out food,
and be expendable, you will be turned loose.
Robbed and treated disrespectfully is standard.
The ranks of handlers are smugglers, criminals.
No triumphant reception..Grilled for hours and
boring repeated lectures.
Then you maybe allowed to be used as cannon
fodder.
For some PR article or propaganda, after all
you are expendable.
And there are FATWAs against al Qaeda.
Internet Anthropologist Think Tank: al Qaeda cult is HARAM, Fatwas
And there are FATWAs against al Qaeda.
Internet Anthropologist Think Tank: al Qaeda cult is HARAM, Fatwas
Terrorist have Suicide bombers dance the "dance of death" for a few media bytes in a video or
news story.
THE DANCE OF DEATH:
Dance you dumb bastards. DANCE.
Gerald
Anthropologist
Originally published at https://warintel.blogspot.com/2010/05/how-to-join-taliban.html on May 6, 2010.